Taking a shower
Well first I would invest in a Relaxa Plus Shower or something very similar. This has made my life so much easier for taking a shower. I am also finding I have to educate hotels about getting these in handicap rooms......most roll-in shower handicap rooms come this way.....but not all.
For washing my hair--I take a hand towel and wrap it loosely around my neck and point the water where I want it to go when washing my hair. I tilt my head back and use the hand held to wet my hair with the spray aimed at the top of my head and down the back of my hair. Then I lather up and rinse the soap out the same way. The towel keeps the water from coming in the trach. Sure my trach collar gets wet but I find that's a good time to change the trach for a clean/fresh one and a new/washed trach tie. (Which you could have prepared before your shower-see tip). Then I towel dry my hair and swap in new tube and tie. The old trach goes for a cleaning soak and old tie gets in the to wash pile.
Heres a tip that took me a while to figure out: When I wash my hair my trach collar gets soaked and after the shower I would have to change the collar. BEFORE you shower take your second trach tube, attach the collar so when your are finished showering and all dried off all you have to do is swap out the trach tubes and collar. Then you can deal with the wet collar and cleaning/washing your trach tube and get it all ready to be swapped in next hair washing.
Otherwise I have it pre-set on the rod and it always hits below my trach site (no splashing into it either).
They are also tracheotomy shower shields available.
Other suggestions I have heard:
When showering: direct the water spray at chest level, and place the shower shield over your tracheotomy or hold a dry washcloth in your teeth.
For more information on day to day things and ideas on how to deal with them check out the forums area and check back here at Jill's Soapbox.